Friday (Unassisted)

 I wish I wasn't as lazy as I am, but that would take effort to change so I don't think I'll do it. In short, I apologize to my "readers" for going on a bit of a hiatus over break. So what did we miss?

The World Junior Tournament
The US bowed out early in the tournament, losing to Finland, the Czech Republic, and Canada before restoring its collective pride in a shellacking of Latvia. The important thing to take from our nation's effort is that we will remain in the top tournament next year. And also, that no one South of the border, that is the Canadian-US border, really cares. The latter fact is a sad truth, because the tournament provides some of the most exciting, intense games in hockey at any level. Mix national pride with youthful exuberance and you get the most compelling of competitions. No match up epitomized this sentiment more than the Canada-Russia semi-final. If you don't know the history of this, the most intriguing and unique of hockey rivalries, here's a primer. In 1972 Canada and the Soviet Union scheduled an eight game "Summit Series" where the two hockey powers played four games in each respective nation. Long story short, watch "Cold War on Ice," the excellent documentary aired on The Outdoor Life Network Versus NBC Sports Network over break. Canada won the series 4-3-1 in a dramatic game eight in Moscow. At any rate, a rivalry was born. My dad during a recent rendition of "O, Canada" remarked that although the song goes "We stand on guard for thee," Canada really has no threat of invasion unless Matt Stone and Trey Parker take over the country, or rather Sheila Broflovski (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SDrqa-eTXU&feature=related). For the last forty years it seems Canadian hockey players, however, have taken the lyric literally when they play the Russians in hockey. Have no doubts about it, the games are entirely Nationalistic. The old-school, lunch pale, ill-humored Canadians vs the free-flowing, systematic, Red Army-groomed Soviets. Seventy-two was a wake up call, eighty-seven a revelation, and eleven and twelve was Hannibal marching over the alps and toying with the Roman Empire: invading, winning, but teasing the empire more than toppling it. In the 2011 final, Canada took a 3-0 lead into the third period in a quasi-home game in Canada's estranged son of a city (Buffalo). Then the Russians finally fought off the vodka hangover to score five consecutive goals to claim the gold as the crowd stood in silence, a sign of respect in Japan, a sign of utter disbelief in Canada. Too stunned to riot, the Canadian patrons walked tails tucked between the legs back across the border and to their heartland. They bunkered down in Alberta, awaiting  the 2012 rematch. The Russians reveled like the Romans themselves, imbibing all the way to getting kicked off their flight home.
Flash-forward to January 3 and the Canadians had their chance at redemption. There's home-ice advantage, and then there's the Scotiabank Saddledome when Team Canada is playing. The building transformed into an amorphous blob of red. A very, very, very loud and patriotic amorphous blob. Then for fifty minutes the previously dormant Russians (they needed overtime to beat the Czechs in the quarters while Canada blitzed their through their group) proceeded to erupt, scoring six goals to Canada's one. The sixth goal said it all for the host hockey nation: Their defenseman took a penalty then figuratively and literally laid down his arms, sulking with his head down while the Russians breached the Canadian goaltender once again. With a little more than ten minutes left, disbelief stood hand in hand with silence again. The "Sea of red" suddenly calm, the slew of flags once waving in pride draped over the sullen spectators; fallen soldiers of sorts.
That goal changed the game like no goal I've ever seen. The Russians prematurely swindling the vodka on the bench: surely a five goal lead would prove insurmountable with ten minutes left. The Canadians oddly inspired: they might lose, but they wouldn't be embarrassed. They scored less than two minutes later. 6-2. They scored twenty some seconds after that. 6-3. Two minutes later they scored again. 6-4. The Russians resembled a confused young boy in a game of rock, paper, scissors who keeps throwing out paper against rock... and loses. The Canadians had seen the game and decided to take it into their own hands, grinding the Russians down more and more, proving that they indeed had the power in the match-up. 6-5 with almost six minutes remaining. The Russians were rattled like no team before them. They forgot how to play the game essentially, throwing pucks aimlessly off the glass, touching the Canadians without checking them, wilting in the fox hole immediately following a bayonet charge of their own. This was the equivalent of a football team going three and out on one play, punting on first down, taking the full drive from the opposing offense, and then punting again.
And the crowd rose from the dead. The resurrection of the Canadian team turned the gentle sea into a wintry gale. The flags flew again before the eulogies ended. There was no one watching present or at home (myself included) who thought Russia would hold on.
Then in a bit of brilliant insanity the Russian coach, utterly, palpably, visibly restless at this point, changed his goalie, who despite the five goals against had been nothing short of tremendous. Andrei Makarov walked into Game 7 of the ALCS against the Yankees, bases loaded with no outs in the ninth with a one run lead.
Then in an ironic twist of sorts, with time suddenly an ally, the Canadians seemed to grow more complacent. Not entirely complacent, but enough to allow the Russians to breathe a little bit: the proverbial heel on their throat eased to let a few gulps of air in. Near death, not dead.
Makarov proved to be Russia's savior. A genius in the like of "Stonewall" Jackson, Makarov stood strong in net, perhaps too naive to grasp the situation, as his teammates played desperate often reckless hockey in front of him. With help from two of his best friends, Makarov held on as Canada launched a final two minute fury of an attack, throwing everything at the net. The rage built to a deafening roar inside the arena until it finally burst into deafening silence. Fifty-six to twenty-four shots on goal in favor of Canada, forty-three to sixteen in the final two periods, twenty-one to six in the third period (I wanna know who was keeping track by the way. It felt like more. Not less). 6-5 final to Russia. The Russians did it again, and one wonders how they even mustered the energy to celebrate as they mauled their hero in goal. 

Canada took their frustrations out on the upstart Finns, trouncing them 4-0 in the perennially anti-climactic third place game. The bronze decidedly not gold.
The Russians on the other hand sputtered into the final against Sweden, who needed a shootout to best Finland in the first semifinal, on E. Emotionally spent and physically drained and vice versa, the Russians skated in water as the opportunistic Swedes flew by them on the ice. In the game between the Ovs and the Ssons, the Ssons were blowing the Ovs away. The score board as it so often does hid the story. 0-0. Amidst the blur of yellow and blue of the Swedes, and the stagnant red and blue of the Russians stood the one Russian who was supposed to be standing: Makarov. He turned away every puck the Swedes through at him, nothing spectacular, but consistent to the point of brilliance. To his credit the Swedish goaltender stood his equal some one hundred ninety feet away, quelling the rare Russian attack that came his way with a flash of the pads.
The Russians had been extending their last breath for nearly four periods of hockey, and welcomed overtime the same way they entered the game: at 0-0. The Swedes, desperate for their country's first gold medal in thirty-one years, pushed on admirably. Their stoic nature showing no signs of caving to frustration despite a fifty to sixteen shots on goal advantage. The Russians bunkered in their defensive zone with nothing left but an unspoken will to get to the shootout. Makarov stayed strong, stopping seven more shots in ten minutes as his exhausted teammates managed a mere one.
It had to be Mika Zibanejad for Sweden. The forward of Iranian descent played the role of unlikely hero if only in greater context. The thought of an Iranian dominating a game of hockey between two powerhouses reads more like an Adam Sandler movie pitch than an historical event. Zibanejad had indeed been unstoppable (sans Makarov) for his mother's nation as he moved by Russian d-men like they were practice cones. After a near miss in overtime, or rather a near goal, Zibanejad skated back to the bench visibly spent. He had given the Russians everything he had, every dangle, wrist shot, and snapper, the tangibles and the intangibles. In a word, he was tired. Previously double-shifted, he took a few off, watching his teammates fight a familiarly unrewarding battle. Two minutes later, he was back, the forward turned d-men, waiting patiently on the blue line as his more energized teammates mucked it  up in the corners with the defiant Russians. His legs resting, his eyes watching, seeking that opportunity that he knew would come. And then it did. A Russian player at his own blue line, with Swedish forecheckers nowhere to be found, tragically relaxed as he tried to harmlessly chip the puck through the neutral zone. Zibanejad pounced and in a blink he was in on Makarov, a clash between the two best players as fate should have it. With a quick deke to the backhand it was over. Ray Ferraro called Makarov's effort "A heroic performance," but still a performance in loss. The Russians sat dejected on the bench. The Swedes threw sticks, helmets, and gloves in celebration on the ice. A just result, the epitome of this great tournament.
Russia Canada highlights
Sweden vs Russia final

NHL Midseason 
Enough about the kids. On to the adults and to some midseason awards, which are treated like off-season awards or preseason awards. That is, they don't matter.
Hart Trophy (MVP) Evgeni Malkin. As much as I'd love to give more love to Pavel Datsyuk, and he absolutely is the best player in the Crosby-less hockey world imho, the award is Malkin's to lose. While Claude Giroux, Jonathon Toews, and Henrik Lundqvist certainly have claims, Malkin has done more for his team. With a slew of injuries to key players, the Penguins essentially presented the big Russian with a perfect MVP opportunity: Amidst adversity, succeed. He has been unstoppable of late. One can pencil his name on the scoresheet multiple times for every game he plays. Malkins unflappable determination has been very, ahem, un-Russian (see Kovalev, Alex, Yashin, Alexei, etc.). He's routinely taken on one on fours... and scored or set up goals. As of this writing his 58 points leads the league as does his Crosby-like 1.41 points per game average.
Dark Horses: Zdeno Chara, Lundqvist
Vezina Trophy (Best Goalie) Henrik Lundqvist. His stats are there: 21-10-4 record, 1.93 gaa, and .936 Save percentage, 4 shutouts. His team is in first place. He does not give up bad goals. Simple as that. Thomas's sprawling, spectacular saves take the air out of teams' forwards. Lundqvist's consistency, on the other end of the spectrum, does the same. He cannot be phased in net. Claude Giroux perhaps spoke for all NHL forwards when he asked Lundqvist during the Winter Classic, "Can I have one tonight? Just one?" Most nights that's all you will get.
Dark Horses: Pekka Rinne, Marc-Andre Fleury, Jonathan Quick
Norris Trophy (Best Defenseman) Tough call. Hard not to like Nicklas Lidstrom here (he has won the award a few times before), but I think Zdeno Chara is the most important defenseman in the game. Chara's sheer size is a force, but now he's contributing more on the offensive end. His 27 points are good for ninth in the league among d-men, while his +28 number is superb given his toi/g of 24:59.
Dark Horses: Shea Weber, Kimmo Timonen
Calder Trophy (Rookie of the Year) Ryan Nugent-Hopkins was running away with this award until injury halted his campaign. He should return soon, and he does still lead the league in rookie scoring, but the Devils' Adam Henrique has assumed the role of front-runner. His 34 points trail RNH by one, and he's just getting going. Playing with Parise and Kovalchuk down the stretch should help the center's plight as the Devils attempt to return to prominence in the East.
Dark Horse: Matt Read, Jhonas Enroth, Sean Couturier

Lot to look forward to this semester/season and I look forward to mindlessly providing my opinion every week. O, and if you haven't already, watch 24/7 in its entirety.
Friday (Unassisted)

Brock Lesnar Retires

Is Brock Lesnar retired, for real?

“This is the last time you’ll see me in the octagon,” said Lesnar after his bout with Alistair Overeem, which ended with a vicious kick to the liver in the first round in Las Vegas.

So it sounds like he is.

As a fighter, Brock has displayed moments of classlessness and childish behavior. He has disrespected opponents, laughed in their faces and flipped off UFC crowds. He is brash, cocky and appears confident. He has described himself as a tough son of a bitch. But on Friday night, for the second consecutive fight, he found himself being brutalized by an opponent he declared to the world he would beat. When asked about fear before his fight against Alistair, Brock said, “I don’t think I know what that is. I’ve been pretty fearless. I look at my son now who is two years old, and he has the same traits as I have, fearlessness. I have never feared a man.”

Nothing breeds fearlessness, like a man coining himself, as fearless.

Brock Lesnar is a bully. He is a man who claims Minnesota – although he was actually born and raised in South Dakota. He self admittedly graduated last in his class of 54 students in his hometown of Webster. Who knows how he made it through college at the University of Minnesota. Maybe he had a passion for the classroom we have yet to recognize. Right. He has wrestled professionally worldwide and has even tried out to be a Minnesota Viking (a venture that led to him being pushed around by NFL lineman and eventually, cut by the team).  

Brock has no problem standing over someone he is physically superior to. On SportsNation, he bullied Colin Cowherd into a corner and wouldn’t stop chirping in Colin’s ear (albeit, later is was revealed as a joke on Colin). Brock rubbed his victory in the face of his opponents Shane Carwin and most notably Frank Mir, when he got into a post fight skirmish. Now, after only 8 fights, and calling himself the best heavyweight in the world, he quits. He calls it. He says his days are over. He’s the bully on the playground who got put in his place, and never messed with anyone again.

Brock Lesnar is a self glamorized star. He is a great fighter, because he said he is a great fighter. When he smells blood, he fires through opponents in a way we have never seen a man fire through another man. But when that blood is his own, kiss adversity goodbye. Great fighters, legends of the sport like Royce Gracie, Don Frye and Ken Shamrock have found themselves bullied and beaten, only to come out the other end victorious champions of their sport. They have endured countless battles, and persevered through it all. Brock never did that.  

I have some sympathy for Brock. I wonder if he is a man, trapped in a body that he never wanted – that he is burdened with pressures of athletics as his only way to success. He displays nanoseconds of humbleness, humility and respect. He has an unbelievable work ethic and sculpts his body into a true fortress. He understands entertainment. He almost looks like a prisoner to the entertainment world. He doesn’t believe everything he says, but he knows he has to say it. As a fighter, and as an entertainer, he has to say it. The stronger the words and the cockier the personality, the larger the fighting purses grow. He doesn’t seem like a guy who ever wanted to enter the octagon. He is perfectly comfortable being the king of the hill, but who isn’t? Once he got knocked off, he didn’t have the resolve to climb back up. He also battled more than just world class fighters. He battled a disease that almost stole his life. He had sections of his colon removed and was rendered powerless against something less than a man – a disease.

If he has indeed, fought in the UFC for the final time, Brock’s career will be a more of a short story picture book than it will be a novel. That is, if we are willing to even call it a “career” at all. Brock fought 8 times in the UFC, registering a career record just over .500 at 5-3. Brock has stated in the past, “I’ve never had the chance to fight Joe Schmo and Tommy Tuna Can,” and he had fought the UFC’s top competition. He hasn’t had the chance to pad his record. Although this is fair, I guess, Brock had faced an old Randy Couture, a Heath Herring who hasn’t fought since Brock, and a Shane Carwin who arguably had already won their fight, if not without the assistance of a referee.

After losing to Alistair, he found another way to make it his platform as he stole the thunder, announcing his retirement. Maybe Brock Lesnar is a hero. Maybe not. Maybe he is a folklore character, similar to the likes of Paul Bunyan, who is more story than truth. Probably more true. He placed an imprint on the MMA world, probably more of an impact than he truly deserved. This is the way I feel he will be remembered:

He will be remembered for controversy he sparked and a mouth he ran. 

TROY KLONGERBO

Top Cheese (Friday, Unassisted)

Welcome to the second installment of Top Cheese or Friday, Unassisted. In my first post, I asked for our readers to vote for one of my two titles. While some of you had very nice things to say, no one mentioned the title. God knows I can't make a decent decision by myself, so please help me pick a title.
Onto the NHL where there are no shortage of talking points. Sadly, the more dominant ones seem to revolve around the continuing concussion problem. I'll get to that later, but why not start with the positives.

Minnesota Defensemen- Even after back to back losses to their future conference rivals in the Jets and the Blackhawks (shootout loss), the Wild still sit in first place in the West. Undoubtedly, their d-men have had a lot to do with the team's surprising success this season. The twenty-two year old Jared Spurgeon has been particularly impressive, logging well over twenty minutes of ice time while standing a mere 5' 9". As good as the Wild have been, Minnesota born defensemen have been just as impressive. Jake Gardiner, Justin Faulk, Ryan McDonagh, and Nick Leddy have all played significant minutes for the Leafs, Canes, Rangers, and Hawks respectfully. More impressive: McDonagh is the oldest of the group at 22, and three of their four teams are in playoff position. McDonagh is fourteenth in the league in time on ice per game, and the nineteen year old former UMD Bulldog Faulk is second on the Hurricanes. The twenty year old Leddy is sixth in scoring on the Blackhawks behind the likes of Toews, Kane, Hossa, Keith, and Sharp. Keep an eye out on these guys (ahem, kids) because the future is very bright. I wouldn't mind seceding from the United States so Minnesota could send a team to the Olympics. I'll take that back line (throw in Paul Martin, Matt Niskanen, Dustin Byfuglien, or Tom Gilbert to provide a veteran presence) in 2014.

Jason Garrison- Speaking of d-men with ties to Minnesota, how about former UMD Bulldog Jason Garrison? He's +11 for the first place Panthers, and leads all NHL defensemen with 9 goals including 5 on the powerplay.

24/7- Glad to see the return of the best show on television on Wednesday night. I was particularly excited, given that my beloved Philadelphia Flyers are one of the two teams on the show. Two things I took from episode:
1. Ilya Bryzgalov is one strange cat. His soliloquy on the Universe had me near tears laughing. Quote: "It's so humongous beeg." Also liked his take on tigers: "There are less than 500 species left. If you kill one in China, you get death penalty." Ah, goalies, the best ones are crazy. That bodes well for my Flyguys, I guess.
2. While Mac Miller's "Knock, knock" is certainly catchy (rookie d-man Kevin Marshall apparently enjoys it Knock, knock Flyers), I think it's quite blasphemous to have a Pittsburgh native sing the Flyers' victory song.

Concussions- Since I wrote last, the NHL has lost its best player (Sidney Crosby again), its leading goal scorer (Ottawa's Milan Michalek), and its leading point getter (Claude Giroux :( ) to concussions or concussion like systems. Just last night it was announced that the menacing Chris Pronger will miss the rest of the season due to post concussion syndrome. At 36, his injury could be career ending. Jeff Skinner, Joni Pitkanen, are others among the growing list of concussion victims. All of this reminds me of the time I had to get stitches in eighth grade. I cut myself above the eye (I won't tell you how), and was rushed to urgent care. The room was a cacophony of coughs, sneezes, sniffling, and crying; victims of the perennial flu epidemic. When a nurse finally came to treat me, she broke down crying. Apparently my stitches were a welcome distraction from treating the flu. That's how I feel about concussions right now. When Mikko Koivu went down with a mere "lower-body" injury this week I celebrated a bit inside, as cruel as that sounds.
The difficulty with concussions is that the NHL has done nearly all it can to curtail hits to the head. Yet concussions still happen. Ironically, Giroux, Crosby, and Michalek all went down from hits from their own teammates. According to Barry Melrose (some source, I know), the NHL has started implementing new helmets that are supposed to be more concussion proof. They also have researchers working on safer shoulder pads as well. All of this is good and all, but as long as hockey is played on ice surrounded by hard boards by 200 pound athletic men moving at twenty to thirty mph concussions will happen. Let's wish that these guys have speedy recoveries, and that they can continue to play at their highest level.

Goal of the Week

If I could rink with one player in the NHL, that player would be Claude Giroux. If Giroux didn't answer his phone, I would call Pavel Datsyuk. As he enters the zone he mesmerizes the entire defense while using his peripheral vision to watch the bench. He knows a forward is coming on, so he delays, delays, and then throws a no-look back hand pass across through the slot. Unreal.

That's all for this week. Get back to me on the name, and absolutely watch 24/7.
Friday, Unassisted

Top Cheese (Friday, Unassisted)

After a five month absence I've made my triumphant return to the Vagabonds and with a new weekly (hopefully) installment that still remains untitled. In reality, I can't decide between the two titles I've listed above, maybe some reader feedback would sway me in one direction or the other. That's assuming we have readers. Maybe Chuck and Troy can just influence me. Anyways the point of "Top Cheese"or "Friday, Unassisted" is to cover topics revolving around the NHL. As we've just passed the quarter pole of the season, there's no better time than now to get going.

The NBA Lockout and the NHL
After hearing the news last week that the NBA players and owners have finally come to an agreement and in turn ended the lockout, I couldn't help but feel a disappointed. A. This leaves the NHL as the only league that has cancelled an entire season (Note that MLB in 1994 played into the summer before cancelling the rest of the season). And B. I was hoping to see if the NHL would grow during an NBA-less Winter. O well.
    The resumption of the NBA, however, will have no effect on the NHL positive or negative. NHL fans and hockey fans in general are amongst the most loyal in the world. A short, intense NBA season won't draw any fans away from the action on the ice. And why should it? The NHL generates more parity than the NBA and as a result produces a more exciting regular season. All thirty clubs, well maybe 29 with the Islanders, enter the year with playoff aspirations (See Wild, Minnesota in first place). With the shootout and overtime losses inflating teams' records, three-quarters of the league will be playing meaningful hockey into the early Spring. Ask a Kings fan, Sacramento not LA, what he thinks about his team's chances this season.
 I think looking back, we can now be thankful that the NHL swallowed its pride almost seven years ago and cancelled its season. The league was in dire need of change with swollen salaries, swollen goalie pads, and marred by clutching, grabbing, cynical hockey that significantly slowed down the fastest game on earth. Great change often follows catastrophic events, and the NHL lockout was no different. The league essentially reinvented itself, giving fans the shootout and cracking down on the aforementioned hooking, clutching, and grabbing that so plagued the pre-lockout league. As I mentioned above, the shootout certainly helped in creating more parity but so too did the new salary cap especially with the Canadian teams. Forced to work with the weaker Canadian dollar in an increasingly money driven league, Canadian teams made only one Stanley Cup appearance in the ten seasons before the lockout. Ironically enough it was the Flames in the last season before the work stoppage. In the six seasons since the lockout however, three Canadian teams have made appearances in the finals culminating in Vancouver's seven game series loss last season to the Bruins. While all three teams have avoided lifting the silver chalice, their deep playoff runs were marked by raucous crowds and arena bedlam creating compelling television for the playoff viewer. One cannot ignore the impact the stronger Canadian dollar has had on these teams, but the salary cap has no doubt significantly improved the plight of Canadian teams.  If the lockout didn't "save" the NHL it at least resuscitated the struggling league. Bettman left certain problems untouched, contraction, more teams in Canada, fighting, to name a few, but he and the league fixed enough to ensure the NHL's success going forward. Furthermore, his innovative attitude has continued to influence the league to this day for the better. Look no further than my next topic. Today, David Stern's veto of the Chris Paul trade showed that the NBA didn't properly address its core problems. I fear that the NBA will soon regret that it didn't cancel its season.

Radical Realignment
Surely you've seen the NHL's new realignment plan for next year. With the Winnipeg Jets stuck in the Southeast division (Winnipeg in January is very similar to St. Petersburg), change was inevitable. Most thought it'd be simple: switch Winnipeg out with Columbus or Detroit. But Gary Bettman doesn't think simple. He took hockey from Quebec, Winnipeg, and Hartford, and put it in places like Phoenix, Raleigh, Tampa Bay, Dallas, and Nashville. So at this point we shouldn't be surprised that Bettman called for such radical realignment. He restructured the divisions into four "Conferences," which hopefully will receive names soon instead of designated letters.Realignment. The new conferences cut down on travel as they are more geographically structured. Moreover the NHL tweaked scheduling to include home and homes with every team while maintaining the six matchups each team plays against its conference opponents. The system allows for current rivalries to fester while giving us the pleasure of seeing the Pens and Caps play six times a year. Wild fans in particular have the most to look forward to not only because they boast the best team in the league right now. No disrespect to the Oilers, Canucks, Flames, and Avs, but the Wild have no natural rivalry in the league and most of it stems from their division. Minnesota has sustained an incredible attendance record since its inception but has seen a dip in the last few seasons. Now with the team's success and the prospect of eighteen games against the Red Wings, Blackhawks, and Stars (people are still bitter) next season, the fanbase in Minnesota could grow exponentially. The optimism of 2003 could return to the State of Hockey with the Wild becoming a marquis American franchise. Chicago, Detroit, and Minnesota should play for an unofficial trophy called the "Great Lakes Cup" (or something, I don't love that name), the winner being the team with the best record against the other two. The Upper Midwest is on the precipice of great hockey rivalries.

That's all for this week.
That's Friday, unassisted, Friday, unassisted at 9:34 (or maybe not).
-Dill

Over the Tebow

Tim Tebow is the most amazing football player the NFL has ever seen.  It may be impulsive, and a bit reckless, but it seems true. He is obviously not the NFL’s most amazing quarterback talent. He is also, obviously, not the best game-breaking athlete our league has seen. Tebow simply plays riveting football. He starts games as if he is doing his best impression of a first basemen throwing warm-up grounders to his infield, while he ends games leading his Broncos to improbable victory.

No quarterback has ever done it this way. He doesn’t look like he is talented enough. There is no definition for the way Tebow is winning games. Analysts are aghast as the worst quarterback in the league, just wins…games. As a fan, I cheer for Tebow. I love Tim Tebow. He is a stand up human being, who has the world in perspective. He loves football, but he loves people more. He wants to play football, win games and change lives of people he comes in contact with. I love it. His post game interviews seem almost choreographed as he answers questions with a genuine smile. Critics cringe. Fans scream. But not a sole in the football world sits opinion-less on Tebow. This is what makes him amazing. The league has never seen as polarizing a figure as Tebow. He is the most amazing football player the NFL has ever seen.

Optimistically speaking, Tebow could be a franchise quarterback. He could be the franchise quarterback the league said he could never be. His throwing motion could come full circle. He might pick defenses apart the way legends like Fran Tarkenton and Steve Young had before him. His style of football could become as unstoppable as when he was in Florida. He could change the hearts of millions of ‘haters’ and help the world. He could be a face of the NFL. He may change the world.

Tim Tebow may have magic in a bottle. His motivational tactics and undeniable desire to achieve might lead the Broncos to even more wins. They may capture a playoff berth. As defenses prepare and study, Tebow may continue to school defenses. He could ride this Cinderella Bronco team to the AFC Championship, Super Bowl, and the Lombardi Trophy – and proceed to ride off into the sunset, never to play a down again in the NFL. It would leave him as the most amazing football player the NFL as ever seen.

How could a guy with such stat lines, yield such conversation? He is still considered “raw” at the quarterback position, but is winning despite it. Manning’s first 8 starts left him 1-7, as he learned to play in the league. Tebow’s first 8 starts leave him at 5-3, as people within the league say he doesn’t have what it takes. Detractors will detract. Tim Tebow just wants to get better. He believes. He believes in himself, his teammates and his organization, the same organization that doesn’t believe in him. His story is one that no writer can write and no prophet can predict.

I’m excited. I believe Tebow can see longevity in this league. I believe he can win and I believe he can lead his team behind center. I am going cheer for Tim Tebow. I will have a comfortable seat on the “Tebow Bus”. Aside from my beloved Vikings, I may even become a bit of a Broncos fan. For now though, I’m going to sit back, watch and enjoy this show. Because none of us know exactly how long it will last. 

The Power of "The"

It is perhaps the most common and at the same time most innocuous word in the English language. I used it three times in the previous sentence, once more in this sentence, and will probably use it a hundred times more before I close my laptop on this quasi-essay. Devoid of definition and connotation we toss it to the side, pay no attention as our eyes glance over it ready to digest the important words it often accompanies. It is merely a three letter word; a phonetically frustrating article that should trip more of us up than just Lloyd Christmas.
 And yet in the world of sport, "the" can grant greatness and even immortality. Wayne Gretzky transformed from a star player, to a great one, to the Great One. The "the" deifies Gretzky in the hockey world. He lives alone as "The" Great One, a title no one else can hold now and forever, amen. "The" can trigger superlatives, Muhammad Ali as the Greatest of All Time, or it can separate one athlete from a distinguished group of others. For example, Babe Didrickson Zaharias and Babe Herman were two tremendous athletes of the twentieth century. Many consider Zaharias the greatest female athlete of all time, while Herman hit .324 in the big leagues and still holds several Dodgers hitting records. You say Babe and it could refer to either of them: "Babe was a great athlete, sure." But as soon as you put "the" in front, you can only be referring to one man. The Babe, Babe Ruth. "The" changes the scope of Babe from a variety of athletes who donned the nickname to a sports immortal, a man so great we still feel his presence nearly eighty years after his last home run.
 Beyond immortality, "the" gives time and place to some of the most mundane words in sports. Catch: the act of controlling an airborne ball or puck, or throwing a ball back and forth between two people. The Catch: First definition: Willie Mays's over-the-shoulder catch on a 484 foot rocket hit by the Indians Vic Wertz in the 1954 World Series, often considered the greatest defensive play in baseball history. Second definition: Dwight  Clark's game-winning acrobatic snaring of a Joe Montana pass gone awry in the back of the endzone in the NFC Championship against the Dallas Cowboys in 1982. Either definition works but both are made possible by "the." "The" brings connotations and emotions to common sports words. Say "catch" and get no reaction from fans, say "the catch" and watch one fan's face light up while another fan spews epithets. Try it with fumble vs. the fumble, big game vs. the big game, drive vs. the drive, and flying v vs. the flying v. "The" makes all the difference: immortality, time, place, and emotions. All from a three letter word.
 Which brings me to my point and how all of this is relevant today. On the one year anniversary of Lebron taking his talents to South Beach I think about the Decision. Perhaps the greatest mistake Lebron made, or the worst decision made for him, was calling his tv special the Decision. Suddenly all of our emotions, mostly hate, towards Lebron got packed into those two words but rendered powerful because of "the." "Decision" can come and go in everyday conversation with no response. We continue to make decisions everyday, heck I made a decision to write this blog. We can talk about a decision, his decision, her decision, their decision, but as soon as we say "the Decision" it takes us to Lebron. And it always will. The Decision encompasses the legacy of Lebron's free agency; every emotion, all the outrage, burning jerseys, and braggadocio of Lebron's move. We will never forget it, and neither will sportsfans to come, because "the" precedes decision. It is a curse Lebron must live with, and many of us will continue to be annoyed by. In this case, "the" grants notoriety along with immortality. History will forget decisions but never "the Decision." And that is the power of "the."
-Dil

NFL Draft

Teams should have approached the draft like this….

1. Trade ***DETROIT LIONS****: Jimmer Fredette, WR, BYU - The Lions aren’t used to picking outside of the top 10. Also, they haven’t selected a WR in the first round in what, 10 years? Jimmer is a deep threat and destroyed teams from deep throughout his senior season. Calvin and Jimmer have the potential to be the best receiver combo since Moss y Carter.

2. DENVER BRONCOS: Aragorn, son of Arathorn, King of Gondor - We fell in love with Aragorn’s natural athleticism. The Broncos drafted their leader on offense last year in Tim Tebow; and Aragorn, born with leadership in his blood, will be a great addition. He would fit in great on a defense that struggled mightily last season. Watch the film, his defense of Helm’s Deep was one of his best performances. Also, he will have no problem with the terrain up in the Rockies of Denver.

3. BUFFALO BILLS: Cooper Manning QB, somewhere in New Orleans – The Bills haven’t drafted a good quarterback since Jim Kelly. They are abandoning their past ways of finding a signal caller and going with someone they know has the ability to win a Super Bowl. Cooper is the selection here.

4. CINCINNATI BENGALS: Paul “Wrecking” Crewe, QB, Inmates – Carson Palmer is going to retire or be traded. The Bengals have no choice but to go in a different direction at the quarterback position. Crewe possesses a strong arm and if he can get the inmates to follow him, he will be able to get his Bengals teammates to follow him. He’ll fit in great in Cincy, inmate and all.

5. ARIZONA CARDINALS: Steamin’ Willie Beaman, QB, Miami Sharks - We think the Cardinals should have added another third-stringer in Beaman at the quarterback position. Don't agree with us, you think that's funny? That's fine, that's fine, that's fine. It’s not funny. Nothing is funny to us.

6. CLEVELAND BROWNS: Lester “Chicle” Jones, CB, Penn State – Don’t know of Chicle Jones? Neither do we. They call the last pick in the draft "Mr. Irrelevant." Cleveland takes that philosophy into every round, including the first, as they draft someone we're not entirely sure actually exists.

7. SAN FRANSISCO 49ERS: Jesus, Leader – With Mike Singletary fired, they lost some fundamental religious values at the head of the organization. Glen Coffee, a former running back for the Niners, left the NFL to become a preacher. This team is in serious need of help and the Messiah may be their only hope. After guys like Montana and Rice, Jesus is about as good as it gets.

8. TENNESSEE TITANS: Julius Campbell, DE, TC Williams – Ever since Jevon Kearse left the team, the team has been in search of another “Freak” at the Defensive End Position. Campbell, a former Titan himself, fits the mold, as he will take care of the strong side on this Tennessee defense.
9. DALLAS COWBOYS: Usain Bolt, WR, Jamaica – Jerry Jones loves the publicity that would come with a guy like Usain. The speed, size and potential are through the roof. He can’t drop more passes than T.O. The Cowboys will pay Bolt. They gave Terrell $25 million reasons to live.

10. WASHINGTON REDSKINS: Luis Mendoza, Forward WR, USA Hockey Mexico – The Redskins love speed. They almost love it as much as Oakland. Here, they go with the speedy former Duck, Luis Mendoza. Luis has a motor and he never stops. He can’t stop. He just doesn’t stop. A motor I’m sure Mike Shanahan will love in Washington.
11. HOUSTON TEXANS: Davey Crockett, LB, A Mountain Top in Tennessee – The obvious pick here, Crockett bring a tenacity hard to match anywhere in the world today. If Crockett can defend the Alamo for 13 days against general Santa Ana's Mexican army, I'm pretty sure he could defend most anybody in the NFL. What? He’s been dead for 160 years? Dig him up! He killed a bear when he was 3 years old.
12. MINNESOTA VIKINGS: LeBron James, Miami Heat – After watching the Timberwolves suffer heartbreak in July, the other Minnesota team will not allow him to slip away from them. James has no choice here but, to bring his talents to the North Star state. One of the more miserable fan bases in the nation have nothing to complain about here. Good news for Vikings fans, James will do anything to win a title, including selling out and throwing an entire city under the bus. The guy knows what it takes to win. If they don’t take LeBron, don’t be surprised to see them take a stab at Packer legend - Bart Starr.
13. CAROLINA PANTHERS: Tyler Hansbrough, QB, UNC (via the Pacers) - He’s out of the playoffs and available. All I ever hear about is his intangibles. All an NFL quarterback needs is intangibles, so Hansbrough can go back home to Carolina.
14. ST. LOUIS RAMS:  Sam Bradford again, QB, Oklahoma - They don't want to screw up their draft after having great success last year. They draft Bradford for the second straight season for two reasons: 1. To reassure their fan base that they can make smart selections and 2. To ensure that Bradford will never leave St. Louis.

15. MIAMI DOLPHINS: Ray Finkle, K, Ace Ventura Pet Detective – Miami constantly treads water in the uber-competitive AFC East, and they hope that Finkle can kick them to a division title. Finkle may be a convicted transvestite, but he’s still no stranger than Ricky Williams or Brandon Marshall.
16. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS:  Ryan Mallet, WR, Arkansas - They converted Matt Jones to receiver in 2005. He was tall, athletic and played quarterback for Arkansas. HEY! We’ll see how it works for them this time around.
17. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS:  James Bond, S – 007 is an obvious fit for the Patriots. He possesses a clean-cut, win-at-all costs attitude with a variety weapons in his arsenal, and he may be the only man in the world whose dating record rivals Tom Brady’s. When you factor in his espionage, well, even Bill Belichick will smile.
18. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS: Steve Graff, P, San Diego- The Chargers turn to a local San Diegan, San Diegon, to try and bolster their pitiful special teams. Portrayed by Jack Black in the hit movie “Anchorman,” Graff’s leg has become the stuff of legends as its power brought even the great Ron Burgundy to tears.
19. NEW YORK GIANTS:  Spike, LB, Little Giants – Upon being drafted, he requests a trade to the Cowboys. He refused to play with Eli Manning because, as he says, "Spike don't play with girls." How does it feel Eli? You now know how the Chargers felt.
20. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS: Peter Pan, CB, Never Never Land- Pan brings leadership and the ability to fly to a troubled and depleted Bucs secondary. Also, Pan has been dealing with buccaneers his entire life, and has tremendous upside. However, his inability to age may prevent him from ever reaching that potential.
21. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS: Steve Hanson, C, Hanson Brother, Charleston Chiefs – The former Chief himself centered up the most feared line in hockey history. Bringing that fear to Kansas City will help improve already one of the league’s top rushing teams. Rounds 2 and 3 for the Chiefs are all too obvious of picks.
22. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS: Bobby Fischer, GM, Iceland- Finally the Colts get somebody who is on the same intelligence level as Peyton. People often say that Manning treats football as one big chess game. Who better to teach him than the youngest Grand Master in history? As far as the search for Bobby Fischer goes, well, Peyton can find anybody. Still not sure who he is? Did you know who Austin Collie and Pierre Garcon were two years ago?

23. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: Cruella de Vil, LB, 101 Dalmatians - Her history of dog abuse doesn't scare the Eagles. We feel that she would fit in great on that tenacious Eagles defense. Philly fans will love her bitch attitude.
24. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS: Bobby Boucher, LB, South Central Louisiana State University - Mamma, mamma, mamma, my mamma said that the Saints were going to take Bobby Boucher. The hometown hero will be welcome on this New Orleans defense. Ironically, Bobby's mother said, "The Saints are the devil."

25. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: The Most Interesting Man in the World, ATH – He’s often been known to draft an NFL team. He’s so strong; he’s literally been seen carrying an entire football team, on his back. He’s so interesting; he makes even the Seahawks, well, interesting.
26. BALTIMORE RAVENS: Manny Pacquiao, WR/CB, Philippino Boxer - It’ll be tough for the socially awkward Pacquiao to follow the Most Interesting Man on the stage, but still the Ravens make him their guy here. Pacquiao will bring his pugnacious attitude to arguably the most feared defense in the NFL. Luckily for us, we know the Jets will pick Mayweather at 30. This means in week 4 we may finally see the fightwe’ve been waiting for. But given the appropriate tentativeness of the NFL season, probably not :(.
27. ATLANTA FALCONS: Booby Miles, RB, Permian Odessa Panthers – A great change of pace running back who looks good in black. “God made black beautiful, God made Booby beautiful.”

28. OAKLAND RAIDERS (via New England):  Aron Ralston, WR, Guy from 127 hours – Desperate to jump back into the first round, the Raiders snatched their pick back from the Patriots in a trade. The Raiders take athletic enthusiast Aron Ralston, star of the movie 127 Hours. Ralston is extraordinarily determined and will do literally anything to help his team win. He’ll join a plethora of talented Raiders receivers who can’t catch.
29. CHICAGO BEARS: Dwight K Schrute, S, Dunder Mifflin Paper Company- Which bear is best? It’s irrelevant now that Dwight will never have to fear Bear attacks again as he joins the Bears’ vaunted defensive unit. Let’s also not forget about Schrute’s legendary speed as he once outran a black pepper snake.
30. NEW YORK JETS: Floyd “Money” Mayweather, WR/CB, Boxer- Let a big talker play for a big talker. The controversial but talented Mayweather will join either the controversial but talented Jets secondary or their controversial but talented receiving corps. Rex predicted a Superbowl, Floyd a thrashing of Manny Pacquiao. Neither has happened yet, but who wouldn’t love watching this duo all season? As Bart Scott would say, “CAN’T WAIT!”
31. PITTSBURGH STEELERS: Whiz Kalifa, WR, Rapper- Let’s just make it official. The Steelers fan base and even team members fell in love with the Pittsburgh native’s hit song “Black and Yellow,” an homage to his hometown footballers (and also his Pirates and Penguins). Plus their last pot smoking black wide receiver won a Superbowl MVP. So they got that going for them. Which is nice.
32. GREEN BAY PACKERS: Cain Velasquez, UFC Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World- Not only would the Undisputed champion Cain scare the living bejeezes out of his opponents as he joins an already terrifying front seven for Green Bay, but he might also cause Aaron Rodgers to drop his very disputed title and that ridiculous celebration.